Your family needs to understand that moms need to have a "time out" too.
However, you have to grab those illusive chances before they are gone. Let抯 look
at some ways to make time for mom without starting a family mutiny.
Give
Yourself a Break
Most women already know what the statistics show: We are
still carrying most of the load. We juggle kids, work, home, volunteering and
everything in between. Are we really enriching our lives by doing
everything?
"When we are stressed, overwhelmed and tired, we have a shorter
fuse. We become irritable, and it抯 more difficult to handle the challenges of
being with children," says Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, a personal life coach in
Aurora, Colorado.
Logically, we know that running ourselves on empty isn't
good for our health or our families. But the instinct to be a devoted mother
means operating in overdrive. We want our children to be happy, and we desire to
give them every possible life experience, even at the expense of our own needs.
We feel guilty if our children don't have everything we think they should have.
"When we emerge from our solitude, we are stronger, more relaxed and
calmer," says Disbennett-Lee. She adds that as much as we need a break, our
children need one, too. When we establish "mommy time," we are in fact helping
our children learn independence, socialization and hopefully, an appreciation of
what we do for them. Even more importantly, we are demonstrating that taking
care of ourselves is important.
One word of caution, "Me" time should not be
scheduled at the sacrifice of others or occupy a large portion of your schedule.
If you have been on a business trip for a week it's not fair to your family to
schedule the entire weekend as "me" time.
Here are a few tips for moms on the
run who are smart enough to get a little 憁e time.?Make sure you pick up on the
humorous side of the situation in this 8 Rule Plan.
1. Tell your family when
you will be gone and for what reason. Be very clear - then go do it.
2.
Unless someone is sick and there's no one else to watch them -- don't listen to
reasons why you shouldn't go. The chores and Holiday projects can wait -- or
they can begin them without you.
3. If you don't go -- don't blame it on your
family.
4. If you are sick, let them know you plan to make up your lost
"girlfriend time" at the next convenient opportunity.
5. Even though you love
your family, try to get out by yourself (especially during the holidays).
6.
Look around, are there more things in the house you could delegate to others? If
so, do it. This will take more of the load off of you.
7. Try not to take a
pager or phone. Everything will be there when you get back.
8. If you are
going to be late let dad explain, in a positive way, that you will see them in
the morning.
Schedule your 憁e time?on the weekend when your husband or
another family member can spend some quality time with your children. I tend to
take my 抦e time?on the weekends, because I have more energy and it allows my
husband to spend some one-on-one time with our daughter. She enjoys having daddy
take her to the park, and I get a few hours away from the house to unwind. It抯
amazing what just three hours will do!
If your children are younger, schedule
your 憁e time?around naps. If you really feel like you can抰 leave the house when
your children are awake, then schedule your 憁e time?during their naps on the
weekend. Take a two-hour break, go out and grab lunch, see a movie, or take a
book to the local coffee shop and enjoy some quiet time.
Rally the
Troops
To successfully plan a time out for yourself, get everyone in the
family involved. Even the smallest hands can reduce the workload for Mom. Trade
babysitting with another mom and use that time to rejuvenate. Give yourself a
spa treatment with a hot bubble bath and pamper yourself with quality
moisturizers. Indulge with "grown up" things like fine chocolates or a glass of
wine with a good book. Connecting with other moms is also fulfilling and
relaxing.
Something else to remember as we look for light at the end of the
tunnel: This time with our children will go faster than we think. As our
children get older, we will have more and more time to ourselves. If we use this
time wisely and take care of ourselves, the whole family will reap the benefits.
Though it抯 difficult to take time away from your children, it is definitely
an important thing to do. Remember, an important part about being a mom is
identifying when burnout is setting in and then going out and doing something
about it. Oftentimes just a few hours away will be enough to help you renew and
recharge; not only will you notice the difference, but your children will as
well.
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